shaky mal

I HATE public speaking. Notice I used bold and caps; that is how much I hate it. I know you are thinking "I know me too!" But no, you don't know. I suck at it. I can prepare all week, say a prayer or two, or ten, have everything I am going to say written down, look over my notes all day, and it will still go horribly wrong. It can only be 30 seconds in front of a class and It will still go horribly wrong. Today it was a 5 minute presentation. ALL day long I have had a pounding heart, sweaty palms, and sweaty armpits (don't worry I brought my deodorant to school with me today). And my presentation was at 3:00 p.m. So it was an anxiety-filled day to say the least. So what goes so horribly wrong you ask? Well right off the bat I start shaking. My hands, my legs, my BODY. I can't stop it. My voice gets shaky. I can't think. I just read. Uhh just thinking about it makes me sick, sick to my stomach. Its hard for me to turn the pages. Oh man I am so pathetic. All during my presentation I am thinking "I have other good attributes, I have other good attributes, I have other good attributes" to make me feel like I am not just a sore loser who makes a fool of herself in front of her classmates. Good thing I don't know anyone in the class. Good thing I only have three more classes with these classmates of mine. There is only ONE positive thing that comes out of this looser-ness: I always get an A on my presentation. And I know its because my teacher is like "Poor, poor girl, She really should have come to me and told me how horrible she is at this, I wouldn't have made her give her presentation.."
And I would like to think that there are other "shaky mals" out their, but I have yet to find any. Every single person I have watched in my whole college career, has done just fine. They don't get red in the face, if they shake its only slightly in the fingers, they don't have to read from their paper, they could be up their all day and not mind, and they hide their shaky voice. It just makes me want yell C'MON!! But then I just have to think, "I have other good attributes, I have other good attributes..."